Life

It's a rainy Sunday, and of course I am in love with it! For the past several months, I have become a little more patient with things. I used to be very stubborn; if I wanted something it needed to be done ASAP, not later on or tomorrow.
I remember (and yes I will use a J and I example--lol, sorry if I bored you with the topic) how impatient I was with him in the beginning. Having distance in a relationship could be stressful, but I think it helped me a lot. You would think, "Distance, ugh, useless!" However, to me, being from two different states (NJ and NY) we would do whatever it was we needed to do for the week and were able to appreciate the time we spent together on the weekends. I miss that; I had it with T but his emotions were tough to deal with.
I had an interesting conversation with a friend yesterday; we discussed how sometimes you need to feel someone next to you, the body heat of someone. This is something I always thought about but I never knew how to put into words what it was that I missed. I don't miss being in a relationship (I'm fine without the headaches). What I miss is someone I could trust fully. I have friends I can turn to at my toughest times, but it's not the same. Truthfully, what I want is someone who starts off as a friend and slowly becomes something more. I thought I found that with the Brazilian, but (I think I stated it in another blog) he was still "getting with" his ex. He contacted me last week, and almost everyday he texts me. I still treat him as a friend, nothing more. He wanted to meet up, but I saw no point, my feelings for him have seethed.
As for the Cuban, he said he wants to take things slow. Those are his words, his actions are completely different. Not to be annoying or anything of the like but if a guy says he wants to get to know you, how is it that he won't get to know your friends as well. Let alone have you meet his after talking for 5 months? He says I could talk to him about everything. He's right, I can. The thing is, it doesn't feel like it's going anymore. When I told him how I felt, he didn't change. It's still the same; now when he offers to hang out, I make sure I'm always busy. Calls me babe (I cannot stand that, we're NOT together!), sends me kisses through text, says he misses me..etc. I respond one word answers.
T has once again gone missing (expect an update on him in two months, as usual)
And once again, I'm back at feeling nothing for anyone.

Kisses,
T. Love