I think too much...

I could not help but smile at this morning's music selection. Beastie Boys followed by Smashing Pumpkins. Lord, you keep blessing my everyday, THANK YOU! ^_^

I woke up in the best mood, why you ask? Nothing specific. I'm just glad to be alive and be able to share my everyday with those I encounter.
Honestly, I think my attitude also ties into the music I listened to this morning. There's something about a song with lyrics that tie into your life. I've been addicted to this song they continuously play on the radio-- Owl City's "Fireflies". The band sounds exactly like Death Cab for Cutie/ Mae, they have similar styles. That could be what drew me in. The song is relaxing. It's the kind of song you don't want to look up to listen to. It has to just play on the radio or be played by someone else for you to enjoy it (well, at least that's how I feel with certain songs). If I look that song up and play it, there's no surprise. This is probably why I have been postponing the whole buying an iPod for my car. (I need to do this soon, but that's before signing up to the gym)----I have a list of things I want to do in my head and the things I NEED to do are written down.
More than anything in life, I want to get my life on track; I'm working on it daily. Praying for strength in all that I do and maintaining a smile each step of the way. I love my life but I want to fall in love with it by working at bettering myself. I know I have the potential to make it in whatever I set my mind to (we all do, JUST BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!). Life is like a relationship, and a relationship like life. Treat it right and you get the best in return. (Even when you give someone your best in a relationship and they don't return the love, just abuse...there's a part of them that feels terrible: WE'RE ALL HUMANS.) Trust me, I saw this in T when we got into our last fight.
Speaking of T, we have not contacted each other at all, and quite frankly, this isn't effecting me much. At first, I felt awkward, but then I realized there's so much out there, and in that batch, there's the person made for me.
I got into a conversation with my best friend and another friend, Simone... The two of them told me they wanted a man. I see what they're saying but, I don't want or need one at this point in my life. I'm too focused. Unless the guy is as focused as I am, please, God, point him in the other direction. Most people want a relationship just to have one. I just want someone willing to walk with me, side by side, even as a friend. Someone who walks in when everyone walks out (like those tear-jerking Hallmark cards). I like being around people who inspire me to be the person I aspire to become. "My weakness is," as stated by Papa Roach, "I care too much." I'll place other's needs before my own (especially when I have more than enough time to do something). I'd drop whatever I'm doing if someone asked me "Can you do such-and-such?" This is somethig I need to work on. I remember one of my close friends, Allie, back in highschool telling me "You know what your problem is you're not selfish!" I didn't get how that was a problem back then, even with the cheating boyfriend at the time. I look at life like an open book, waiting for someone to explore it. Even if the words are unfamiliar, I'd do my best with the context clues and make some sense of them.---maybe I threw you off with that metaphor (so, sorry!). What I'm trying to say is, I place myself in a situation I do not need to be in. It is like other's see a path with a "Do Not Enter" sign and avoid it. I see the sign, see what's ahead and walk right in there like: "What's are all the signs about... there's NOTHING dangerous!"---Is that better, or are you still lost? Just forget it^_^ these are my thoughts of the week summed into today's entry.

CHEERS!
-T. Love