God has blessed me...

I stated this before in a previous entry, but I find that tonight it is proven. This year has been amazing. I will miss it when December 31st comes, but I welcome the new year with open arms.

I read an E-mail that made my entire day.

Earlier this week I received a text from my 7th grade teacher telling me she forwarded my contact information to someone doing PR at the hospital close to my home. I figured I would hear from them sometime this week. I thought, "Monday, once they get to the office"... that didn't happen. "Too caught up, maybe Tuesday?" After Tuesday I was bombarded with work and planning for this weekend's group discussions that I forgot about hearing from them.
Today as I was driving home from work, I noticed my phone blinking (you know how it is, fellow Blackberry owners: it blinks, you respond ^_^). I noticed it was an E-mail. I read the first paragraph, smiled. Once I read the second, I cried. My Passaic Facebook Fan Page was brought to his attention by an active member. I was thrilled.

In between the tears of joy, I smiled, repeatedly. The cars at the stop light probably thought I was insane or maybe on something.---They were right, I was high on life... and continue to be.

There I stood observing...

I watched him in a room. I saw him while looking into the small window of a room. The walls were patted. His body just laid there. He looked content as he slept on the mattress. I could tell because he had a slight grin. He must've been dreaming.

I looked to my hand and there was a key. The man had a key, too, in his right hand. I wondered if it was the same key I held in mine. I continued to watch him smile.

Slowly he started to wake up. The smile faded; he got up and went to the corner. I started to feel bad and opened the door. Once inside, he looked up at me, embraced me close. I asked if he held the key to the door. He nodded. I asked why he didn't let himself out. He sighed, "The world outside can be a lot like this one." He was partially right. However, I was determined to show him a better world than he knew... I was going to show him everything he was missing.

I was going to give him the world many promised and show him how he's worth that and more.

From a friend to a friend, I cannot stand to see you hurt ...anymore.

Much has happened.

Life continues to be amazing. It's true what they say, You learn something new daily.
I got an internship on campus. I'm helping out the sociology department with a domestic violence campaign. It's great because I'm working with three fellow pr majors that I love ^_^.
As for love I have learned to take it as it comes. I was getting to know someone (JO) and it turned out to be a bad idea. Oh well, I learned and noticed how much patience I have now. (GO ME!) Honestly, I don't mind if a person works long hours throughout the week and we barely see each other, it's the little things that get to me. As stated in a previous blog or Facebook status (can't remember which I posted this in) there are 24 hours in a day, if you didn't get to something it's because you didn't want to. A simple "Goodmorning" or "goodnight" text every other day wouldn't hurt. I'm not needy, I just like to hear from the person I'm talking to once in a while. One thing I've come to value, honesty. I give it, why can't someone else return the favor? I don't know if he was/is talking to someone else, I just wish he would say it. A friend told me I shouldn't be so honest with the people I date. I disagree. What if I get into a serious relationship with them? Then what do I do? Do I tell them I was lying about not seeing someone else? How about the other(s)? Do I tell them "I got serious with someone" when they didn't know I was dating someone else? Or do I just ignore their phone calls/ texts and expect them to get the picture? I would feel terrible. I wouldn't be able to do any of the above. Being honest is the only way to avoid future problems. I know women in relationships unhappy but because they WANT someone choose to settle. No, thank you. I rather be alone then "in a relationship" and unhappy.

This year I've learned something about relationships. A friend told me about "not having titles" and I was against the idea at first. When I started to hear his reasons I started to agree. However, it went in one ear and out the other. Before dating JO I was dating someone because I enjoyed his company. He was "in a relationship" and it didn't bother me. What bothered me was not being the only person he was seeing (I wasn't second, I was third). The part that got to me was how it wasn't anything special, no matter how great he made me feel. Then I started to look into it, and I thought how he's just being honest with me. It's my decision whether or not to stick around. I don't have to if I don't feel comfortable. With time I got used to it, started seeing others as well, but they weren't honest and made me miss him. We're still friends today, and I'm thankful for having someone like him in my life. If I ever need to vent, he's there. ^_^
While dating JO I adapted the mentality of No Titles, Just Love. Something I learned from my friend and Mr. Taken. When people have titles, society has an idea of how people in a relationship/ married/ single should act.
In a relationship: Must be dedicated, spend as much time as possible with them (depending on the type of relationship i.e. person is needy)
Married: Must be in love and dedicated no matter what (even if the person argues daily)
Single: Should go out as much as possible, hook-up with the world and not have a care in the world.

With titles you're performing. It isn't who you are. I believe a title shouldn't define what two people have. Now, I am not knocking down marriage. Never that! Marriage is beautiful, for those who can truly love each other and work out issues through discussions rather than arguments
(That's another issue: people who argue for the sake of getting their point across. --I believe in discussions. Approach your partner about something when the time is right and with the best tone. NOT YELLING! No one likes yelling).

Too many people in unsatisfied relationships stay because they feel the other person will be upset or hurt themselves. There should be an understanding that if things don't work out (given that both parties have tried everything) there shouldn't be a guilt. It should be as if a weight has been lifted from both of your shoulders. Breathe, nothing lasts forever. Take it from the buddhists. "Nothing is permanent."

To be single is to appreciate what you have to offer to the world. And technically, everyone is single. Who you choose to spend your time with must accept you for who you are and all the great things you can bring into a relationship.
As for sense of humor: I can't think of anything but

-Love always,

Tima :)

I found this article..

Thought I should share it! ^_^Article


Sorry this was not much of an update, but something is well...something

Life is GRAND

"See the innocence of a child? They do not see the 'evil' in others, only the good.
Learning to trust someone is a lot like baby steps."

I know, I sound like a hippie from time to time with my "Life is beautiful" statements I've posted here and on Facebook (sorry!) I find that life can be so much and yet "beautiful" is the best fit.

Some will damn their lives and say "fml", etc. but I see that as pointless. I've grown so much this year: physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Most people bid the year farewell on December 31st and recall memories of the previous years. I don't know what I'll do this year. I think it'll be the first time I cry about it.

It feels like I had a guardian angel looking over me; watching my every move. Whatever or whoever it was brought so much happiness into my life. I've received love from my family, friends and strangers that have become friends. ^_^ I've heard stories about friends/family who hurt each other and I cannot help but feel terrible. I've always believed in "Trust, until you are given a reason not to" (I think I've stated it in a previous post). There's truth in these words. You cannot go around hating someone for what others have done. I will admit that I, like most people in society, have trust issues. In addition, throughout this year I have seen and done things that have made me grow colder. I have my moments where I want to give something my all, but when I think about the "What If's" and "How Abouts," I close up. It might just be human nature. Who knows. I do know one thing, everyone deserves a shot. I'm slowly drilling this into my head and taking it into consideration. They say, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"--I agree! I aim to become better, stronger... never colder.

"Everything you see now is temporary, everything you take from what you see is permanent."

Smile ,
T. Love

Something from my Myspace

I've decided to delete my Myspace page, but first I would like to save my album here. It's called Randomness; an album I'd place random photos I'd find from the Internet (two are taken by me) and added captions that came to mind.

ENJOY!

a rose is a rose....but what is it without its thorns?

when things appear out of reach:

hold on tight!

it is only an illusion

See yourself, be yourself

Swings, how I never get bored of you

where my heart is: public relations

cross the bridges that lead to your success

I can't believe how much this was my life...
a daily routine
a mask to say
"I'm beautiful"
when yet, I have always been Bella

money leads to physical perfection

even in the city:
my eyes are drawn to yours alone

Sometimes we [rely] only on perception,
but what about touch?

Given the chance, BLEED the romance

Invade me, colors

photos; memories

a random kiss
in the middle of nowhere is always a plus

the mind [sometimes]
goes through a "down-pour" of thoughts

Be random

Ducky! Why didn't Andy pick you?! sigh*

Juan Dolio, Rep. Dom.-
"Let's run from shoreline to shoreline"-Stafford

(Serendipity) Somethings are just meant to be

Close your eyes
& feel the world around you

famous & happy, but only on-screen.
for she lived a sad life, she never felt good enough.

Allow yourself to feel
the love before it gets "washed up"

beauty lies in people, places and things

find the comfort in each other's embrace

oh how cartoons inspired us,
as children, to use our imagination

the greatest love is the type that is shared

warm hugs on gloomy days are the best!

A father is a woman's first viewpoint of a man.

Oceans before us &
we'll continue to be side-by-side, hand-in-hand.

a heart that sets is a heart that lies

be as the clouds; mold yourself & keep it moving

the petals t o u c h my heart, tenderly

be free, together!

this will always be one of my favorites!

videogames were always a favorite past time

And now, time to delete my Myspace.
Cheers,
T.Love

P.S. Follow me on Twitter ^_^

HERE'S the UPDATE!

I'll do this in sections again:

Life: Amazing as usual. I cannot complain, everything is where it needs to be. One thing though, I truly need to get myself on this internship thing. That is the only part of my life I am slacking in. Funny enough, I ran into my 7th grade teacher and she told me she'd talk to a friend we both know that is working at a local hospital and does PR work for them (JACKPOT).
Other than that, all is well in this area.

Love: I'm still talking to the same guy. J is officially out of my life, but still on my mind. T continues to come and go, but I told him I'd appreciate it if he didn't contact me again.
The new guy's a sweetheart and an ass when need be. He's in training for two weeks right now. It's cute, he sends me morning texts wishing me a great day and says he misses me. We'll see where things go. Love in general is great. I have so much love surrounding me: from family to friends and friends to strangers (those I meet at the gym). Oh yea, I didn't mention, I joined the gym in late June. ^_^

Sense of Humor: Last night was a family friend's gathering by my house. There were a bunch of children. Two of the opposite sex were walking around holding hands and everything the boy wanted she wanted too (I was serving them food and drinks and everything he said he wanted she would say: I want what Josh's getting!). Then I asked her who was he she said, "That's my brother."She had a little attitude too, I wonder what her mother is like :x The funny part was when she was upset. One of the ladies had yelled at her because she wanted to go to the neighbor's pool. She stood there, arms crossed, didn't want to hold her brother's hand anymore or anything. She had the mean face on. I tried getting her to tell me what happened. Josh told me what had happened, of course he gave the simple, "Someone yelled at her" response. It made me wonder, seeing that she had a little attitude she appeared to be spoiled by her parents and maybe wanted something she could not have.
I crouched down to her level and tried to get her to tell me what happened, what was wrong and how she was feeling. Then Josh told me the truth about the whole wanting to get into the pool thing. I tried to get her to talk and it didn't work. Once I offered to tickle her Josh said YEA! And I tickled her and she smiled. I told her, "Is that what it was, you wanted me to grab you?" I picked her up and she let out the cutest smile. I fell in love. She was still a little upset with the whole pool situation so I walked her over to the neighbors who were at the pool playing around. Asked the neighbors if I could just show her something. Told her she didn't have a bathing suit. She said she did at the house. *kids are always ready! Then I remembered she wanted to hear the guy sing, and I said "How will you hear the guy sing AND have CAKE if you're in the pool?" She started to think. We went back to the party and she continued to smile. She spoke to the performer saying she remembered him from last time. I became a little tired of holding her so I said, "I think Josh wants to play with you." She looked at him and let out, "You do?" I winked at Josh, he said "Yea." She said, "Okay," and jumped down. ^_^ Success!

I think I want to adopt kids one day. I feel like there's so much love to give a child that is already on this earth. <3

I'm Back!

Life: A lot has happened since my last post. First off, the brother I hadn't talked to for almost 10 years is back in my life. (Not fully though, I'm taking baby steps) Other than that, I'm still working at my other brother's design firm. I'm managing the social media sites. I'm also working with Underground Riders, a Jersey-based company on local hip-hop artists. I manage their social media sites as well. Currently, I am taking my second summer class, human biology. It's not bad being that I took AP sophomore year.

Love: I still miss J here and there, but I've slowly moved on. I did meet someone this past week. He seems worth a try, (doesn't everything?) We'll see how it goes. I'm not "putting all my eggs into one basket" this time.

Sense of Humor: There's this 10th grader in my bio class who is taking summer courses for college credit (he'll definitely go far with that mentality). This kid in my class, Ross, always jokes saying "He's 13 and he's curing cancer!" The kid is adorable. I truly wish him the best in all that he does. He deserves it! (Heck, at his age I was enjoying my summer!)
Have a wonderful weekend,
-T. Love

PS. My nephew turns one this Saturday... I'm so excited. Auntie's going to SPOIL YOU! ^_^

he looks like a monkey here--I love it!

We always want what's best...

We look for the good in others, but when they show us the opposite, we get upset. Maybe we have these standards no one can really meet? We want the best for others when we should be a little more concerned what's best for us. I don't advocate that we become selfish, no, never... What I'm trying to state is how sometimes we place categories on people. Once they step out of that bo, it's like hell. We become confused, not because they have placed it upon us. We do it to ourselves.
I'm in this position now. No one told me to think so highly of them; I did it because I felt they were worth it. :(
But this is life. How about love? How is my love life coming along? Non-existent. Everyday I think of J. I should be done with him, but I'm not yet. The keyword is "yet." I know there will be a day that I stop having these feelings towards him.
And what about a sense of humor? The other day, during my journalism class, we had guest speaker. When I first saw him, he seemed quiet and I was the first to joke with him. I figured he was a little tense. Once he started talking, he didn't shut it. It started upbeat, but then he became mellow. My mind went off and I started to think how he looked like Mr. Rogers on crack. I know, my mind is insane but hey, at least I entertained myself for the hr and a half he was presenting.

HUGS,
-T. Love

I rather not mention....

It goes without saying, we want what we cannot have and that most good men are in a relationship, married or so screwed up from the past it makes it hard to find someone serious these days.
There's about two weeks left of school. Am I stressing? Not at all. I've become nonchalant; nothing really gets to me anymore. I feel like I've grown numb. Cuban sent me a text this morning; he doesn't get how uninterested I am.
I think I need someone to shake me. I'm physically in school but my mind is still sleeping. *yawn*
I've run out of things to post, 'til next time.

Hugs!
-T. Love

Life

It's a rainy Sunday, and of course I am in love with it! For the past several months, I have become a little more patient with things. I used to be very stubborn; if I wanted something it needed to be done ASAP, not later on or tomorrow.
I remember (and yes I will use a J and I example--lol, sorry if I bored you with the topic) how impatient I was with him in the beginning. Having distance in a relationship could be stressful, but I think it helped me a lot. You would think, "Distance, ugh, useless!" However, to me, being from two different states (NJ and NY) we would do whatever it was we needed to do for the week and were able to appreciate the time we spent together on the weekends. I miss that; I had it with T but his emotions were tough to deal with.
I had an interesting conversation with a friend yesterday; we discussed how sometimes you need to feel someone next to you, the body heat of someone. This is something I always thought about but I never knew how to put into words what it was that I missed. I don't miss being in a relationship (I'm fine without the headaches). What I miss is someone I could trust fully. I have friends I can turn to at my toughest times, but it's not the same. Truthfully, what I want is someone who starts off as a friend and slowly becomes something more. I thought I found that with the Brazilian, but (I think I stated it in another blog) he was still "getting with" his ex. He contacted me last week, and almost everyday he texts me. I still treat him as a friend, nothing more. He wanted to meet up, but I saw no point, my feelings for him have seethed.
As for the Cuban, he said he wants to take things slow. Those are his words, his actions are completely different. Not to be annoying or anything of the like but if a guy says he wants to get to know you, how is it that he won't get to know your friends as well. Let alone have you meet his after talking for 5 months? He says I could talk to him about everything. He's right, I can. The thing is, it doesn't feel like it's going anymore. When I told him how I felt, he didn't change. It's still the same; now when he offers to hang out, I make sure I'm always busy. Calls me babe (I cannot stand that, we're NOT together!), sends me kisses through text, says he misses me..etc. I respond one word answers.
T has once again gone missing (expect an update on him in two months, as usual)
And once again, I'm back at feeling nothing for anyone.

Kisses,
T. Love

I did what I didn't want to... I gave up.

These past two months have been interesting. I've spoken to both J and T. T is the same episode. J, now this was interesting.
March 27th I remember the date because it's a friend's birthday. It landed on Saturday. I had contacted him via Facebook Monday afternoon and told him how I missed him, etc.
It went back and forth and at some point I asked him how he felt about me. Reading the following lines made me reminisce: " I don't allow myself to feel anything for you anymore." It was followed with how I hurt him when I left. He was right, I hurt him but I didn't leave out of selfishness. (Refer to previous blogs)
My phone rang that Saturday night and I looked at the number. 646... Area code 646?! Who would call me from NY? I ignored it, let the phone continue to ring. I didn't think he would call, but he did. We spoke, and he knew my heart was pounding like crazy and that I had the biggest smile across my face. He knew all this because he had that effect on me since day one.
The conversation started great. We joked about anything and everything, as usual. It felt like the year that separated us had vanished. I was getting ready for my night with DKC, a group of friends I have been spending most of my weekends with. He suggested I went to NY to hang out with him. My smile began to fade. I knew what he wanted; he knew I would drop friends for him in a second... but little did he know that was me last year. I have changed, from the girl he once knew.
Once he started to ask personal questions, I knew his jealousy would come to play. "Who have you dated?" "Did you date JV, J?" The interrogation didn't stop until I cut him off. He brought up the past, to be exact: two years ago, April when we broke up for the first time. Something quite unnecessary. To make this story short, he bit himself in the ass when he asked a question he had no right to know. Of course I answered his ridiculous question, but I let him know that what happened between the time we were apart had nothing to do with him, nor did whatever he had done concern me.
We argued that night, even while I was at Mabe's house. I drank excessively and made a fool of myself. I apologized to those who were there. PoOh Bear was the only one who understood. She knows how much I let J get to me, and to some degree, still do.
I love him, but I cannot allow myself to get hurt again.He expected me to drop my male friends. He knows I could never do that again, and now he wants nothing to do with me. I haven't contacted him since.
As for T, last weekend he suggested we become friends. I should have know what "friends" entailed. We met up twice and that was it. He seemed willing to actually work things out, but then again... there's a reason we aren't together anymore. I haven't contacted him since Saturday, I rather not. I'm starting to truly let go of the bs in my life. The thing is, I'll let it go, and the minute it wants to come back, I let it. Not this time around.
Cuban: This guy, I've given up on. Great guy, another one who has been hurt by an ex. We've been talking for 5 months.... I see no sign of us getting serious. It's not that I want a relationship, nor do I need one. But honestly, I would like a friendship that develops into something along the way. I don't open up to a lot of people. The first and last person I gave my heart fully to was J and look where it's left me.
I have faith I'll find him, if he's not already in my life ;)

With love,
Tima

one of my favorite Pablo Neruda poems

don't go far off, not even for a day, because --because --
I don't know how to say it: a day is long
and I will be waiting for you,
as in an empty station
when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.

Don't leave me, even for an hour, because
then the little drops of anguish will all run together,the smoke that roams looking
for a home will drift
into me, choking my lost heart.
Oh, may your silhouette never
dissolve on the beach;
may your eyelids never flutter into the empty distance.
Don't leave me for a second,
my dearest,
because in that moment you'll have gone so far
I'll wander mazily over all the earth,
asking,
Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?

It is morning... the best part of my day!

Good morning followers! I am loving the weather these last few days; sunny one moment and hail the next. My mother told me about snow tomorrow and Friday. Most people have been complaining about the weather. Personally, I like it. Yes I have to be extra careful on the roads, but all this rain has taken away the snow. The thing is, people like to complain about nothing and everything at the same time. I love changes in the weather. We were spoiled on Monday with a sunny afternoon and nature knows what she does. ^_^
Life: My father's back at the hospital. After some tests they discovered he had a mini-stroke in the back of his brain which has caused his dizziness. It was a hassle to get him to the hospital; he's the typical Spanish person who decides that being at home is safer than being cared for by professionals. I have to admit, I see this in myself. Whenever I feel a cold coming on I just drink a lot of Vitamin C. I don't really believe in medicine. My body could heal itself from just about anything.
Love: Still not dating anyone. I continue to keep in touch with guys as friends. Nothing serious, just hang out, talk and text. Sometimes a girl just needs great guy friends and not a relationship (unless she feels she could see a future with one). I still miss J from time to time. He'll always remain in my heart.
Sense of Humor: An old text I found from J:"Sorry bebe. I knocked out. I hope your having a great sleep. I really truly adore you. I never adored another girl in my life the way I adore you. Appreciate my love bitch haha jk. Love you babe. I hope I don't wake you up when I hit enter. Then ill get cranky super mean tima. Wish me luck 143. Muah"

Well, Hello there loves!

Be as care-free as you want to be...
It's been a while, yes I know. It's quite hilarious that every time I come to update it "has been a while." I have been pretty busy with school and work. All right, here comes the updates:

Life is amazing, as usual. Stress here and there but it isn't like last semester where I had no time to breathe. I cannot remember if I stated this before but I am in love with this semester's schedule. Classes on three days and "rest" for four. Quotes on the word rest because I don't really have time to rest. I love to plan new things; I keep in touch with friends, party here and there (yes, a girl has to work hard to play hard!), etc. I started this semester with high hopes and ever since, all has been well.

Valentine's Day was this past weekend. The question on your mind is, did she break her promise to herself? If I was as weak as I was last year, I would have. I am glad to say it will be 10 weeks tomorrow (Friday, Feb. 19th). I am truly proud of myself. Who knew, a Gemini woman could keep her promise to herself. ^_^

I'm still currently single which, I will admit can be a "sad" thing (especially with this winter being a bit brutal). I must say, I've been doing well. No cuddle buddy of any sort. I'm still friends with the Cuban, the 3rd-Grade crush, LC and the Brazilian. I have learned to keep people as friends. My mother (whose birthday is today) always told me the value of a friendship between opposite sex, or the person you are attracted to. Growing up I didn't understand, but after dating J and T, Oh MAN, did I learn. I still think of them from time to time, and wish them the best in all that they do. (WHAT AN EX-GIRLFRIEND!) It's true though. What good would it do if I wish people the worst of luck in life? It doesn't do me or them any justice. There are times I wish I could still have a friendship with the two of them. Then again, there's a reason for everything and this is just another product of "it happened for a reason."

You know, it's crazy how you go from knowing someone well to not knowing them at all. This is why I'm careful this time around. Usually I'd say, "Jump in, the water's fine" but not now. Truth is, I haven't really met anyone I could see myself with. Sounds like a selfish thing to say, I know. I just don't want to commit to someone I know I could not do so. After all, that's what a relationship is, a committment. I was talking to my best friend the other day about how I don't have a crush on anyone and how it's something new to me. Usually I become infatuated with someone for a short period and on to the next, or if we get together it takes me a while to get over them. I don't know, maybe it's part of the maturing process. I'm doing what I advise others to do: "Do whatever you need to do to get where you want to be." Every day I am reminded of a dream I want to achieve, and so I wake up ready to face the challenges with the biggest smile. It's crazy how much I love challenges...things people run away from, I run towards.

Cheers!

-T. Love

Live the life you dream

This is it! Are you ready?

I know I have stated this in a previous blog or said it many times to friends, but I'm changing for the better. No more "sexual" innuendos, or scandalous pictures. It's not me, I don't fit that personality so why am I doing it? Most would say it's for attention, could be, I don't even know why I do half the things I do. As for drinking, I've learned to monitor it. I've never been an excessive drinker in the first place because drinking isn't always "fun"---like most would like to consider it. I have my head in the books, as usual, but I am focusing on my social life as well. Not just meeting random people; I'm talking about networking. I want to see what the world has to offer me and vice versa. I'm going for my high school attitude, a little more edgy though. I'll mix in my positive attitude, and S H A Z Z A M !
As for the love life, I would say it's nonexistent because I'm not talking to anyone or taking the "steps" to get to know them. I've made male friends which I keep in touch with throughout the week but nothing else. (I'm going on to exactly 6 weeks tomorrow! I am proud of my progress.) I like where things are going, no commitments or getting used to talking to someone every night. To top it off, I don't want to hurt someone because I cannot give them my full attention. I'm still in love with J, YES I KNOW IT HAS BEEN A YEAR (on Jan. 26th). My heart is still with him, I used to compare J to JV all the time. Now, I compare every guy to J because he knew how and did everything to make me smile (like that Fabolous song says, "You know my style, I'd do anything to make you smile") It used to make me giggle when J said that in the beginning, he had the sexy look on his face and everything. I didn't know it then, but I know now that everything he said was put into action (as far as emotions, and loving me). We all know about T, the semi-J guy. They were alike in certain aspects not all (and I am repeating my first two or three posts here).
Enough about love, let's continue to discuss life, shall we? This morning it started snowing like crazy. Call me weird, but I see snow as something beautiful (or in the terms I like to use, "sexy"). When it falls onto a path that has been crossed several times I cannot help but smile when I am the first to walk through the now snow-covered sidewalk/stairs. It's funny because millions have passed it, but for the moment, you're the first to walk through. This reminds me of life. We often tend to look at a path and think negatively about where it leads. For instance, when you're coming out of a serious relationship that has left you questioning people's motives, you tend to be cautious. The path to meeting someone new, starting over, and getting into another serious relationship seems "shaky" but why not? You did it the first time, right? You've taken this path before, a little different, but now it has snow. Will you stop and say, "It's the same shit just different look?" or will you proceed with caution? These are things people need to look into when it comes to dating. We often tell people, "I can't, I've been hurt before." The question is, WHO ON THIS PLANET HAS NOT BEEN HURT?" I want to see someone raise their hand to that one. People get hurt no matter what; whether it be a family member, friend, love interest or spouse, SOMEONE HAS/WILL HURT YOU! Stop being a baby and give into your emotions.
How's that for a "long-awaited" update?
^_^

CHEERS!
-T. Love

Good morning, beautiful people!

It has been a while since my last update, please forgive me. I won't make any excuses to why I have not because there are 24hrs. in a day, 10 minutes to update aren't going to kill me.
Since my last post a few things have happened. Spring semester started yesterday and I must say I am in love with my schedule; Classes on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. As for work, I only work weekdays (except for Thursdays) which is a major change for me. I have not had a weekend to myself in so long. The last few weeks have been pretty sad; Haiti has gone through two earthquakes (another occurred this morning). Right now 75,000 were killed during the incident.
There's a part of me that is beginning to believe in the Mayan calendar and the world ending in 2012. Many natural disasters have taken place in the last couple of years. I really don't know what to think anymore.
On a lighter note, my nephew is getting sexier by the minute. Ever since I started working at my brother's design firm I have seen the little man several times. I think it's crazy how someone you met not too long ago could be embedded in your heart the MOMENT you met them. Ethan's a piece of heaven; let's pray he stays this way!
I have come to notice that this year has been filled with surprises. I find myself a lot wiser than last year. What I least expected IS NOW happening. The law of attraction states to visualize yourself doing whatever it is you want to do and you'll be there sooner than you think. As I like to say, "See yourself, be yourself."
My life has been on track since J and I parted ways. I cannot complain, I have never been happier. Yes, I have my moments when I miss him. The thing is, I have come to far on my own to move backwards. Besides, J has a girlfriend now and is doing his thing on his side of the world. If we could be friends one day, I'd love that. If not, then so be. Life is a beautiful thing, never let it go to waste. Hurt lasts as long as YOU let it last; remember that and you'll go far.

HUGS!
-T. Love

The Art of Letting go...

Is letting go truly an art? I would say so. From the break up, I've learned a lot. I've been able to grow spiritually, mentally and emotionally. If J would ask me to return, I wouldn't. There's a part of him that will always be in my heart but that piece isn't enough to make me go back. I probably stated this before, but I'd love a friendship between us. It won't happen though. I've tried and with him it's like pulling teeth.
So here we go, an update on the dating scene: I am currently not dating anyone on a serious level. Just making friends, getting to know different people. I'm still stuck on how come I don't show any emotions. I feel like a guy. I'm pretty sure there's a reason why my heart has shut itself from falling. I kind of like it this way. Hopefully it doesn't ruin any potential serious relationships.
Honestly, I don't have much type out here. Maybe some time this week something interesting will happen and I'll put it up.

Until then, Keep your heads high, you're BEAUTIFUL in your own special way!

-T. Love

Life is AMAZING

Good afternoon, beautiful people!
Aren't you lucky, another update! ^_^ This week has been moving quite slowly, however the weather has been great! Lord, are you preparing us for a crazy snow storm? Speaking of which, I have come down to the conclusion that God has a great sense of humor somewhat of a sick one but great indeed. I have been in situations where I have to stop myself and think: "Lord you did this for some reason" and figure out why. I believe that everything, no matter what it is, happens for a reason. I know I have discussed this in the previous blog but I mean it from the bottom of my heart.
Since my break up with J, I have had the chance to get to know people I never would have with him by my side. There's this elderly man at church who always makes me smile whenever I see him. He's independent, doesn't have anyone waiting for him at home (I know this because my mom was his nurse back at Hamilton Plaza) and my heart went out to him even before I knew his background. I recall a time telling J how I wish I could converse with him, he seems like a man of great spirit (something along the lines) and J said, and I quote, "Yea, but what makes you think he wants to talk to you." That stuck to me, and I never approached him because of it. One morning after mass, my mother went up to talk to him and I used this as an opportunity. We spoke about God and how he never lets you down as long as you're with him. To this day, I always stop to check up on him, to ask how everything is going for him. He always says, "I'm on my feet. That's always a good sign." It makes me smile because people take things for granted when others find it a blessing <3.
For me, I find scenery a blessing. Most will hate that it's snowing or that it is raining but I smile. I love the simplicity in it; how the wind blows and the trees and leaves sway. Or how objects sometimes create shadows that look nothing like what made them. I remember a time walking down 3rd Ward park with J. He had the cutest smile. We never went walking for the heck of it, but that afternoon we did, he thanked me because it reminded him of when he was back at Stony Brook. He loved the tranquility, and he enjoyed the scenery as well. We sat on the bench and spoke about God knows what (it was always random with us), and when I got too far ahead with my thoughts, he'd bring me back to reality. I guess we balanced each other out. I won't lie, I miss these moments, (when we got along). We had our arguments that felt like it was over for good. We were too stubborn to let go; he'd come back the next day with "I'm sorry." I always accepted his apologies, so did he whenever it was my turn to apologize.
From what I experienced with J, I've been able to grow. Grow in such a way that no one could ever bring me to where I was with J. Every relationship, I've found, is different. I like to treat them differently. A chance to start over with someone is simply another shot at love. If you look at it this way, you'll be as open as you were before you got hurt. Love as though yesterday never existed and tomorrow isn't promised!

-T. Love

It's a beautiful afternoon!

Well hello followers, I am very sorry I have not updated you. A lot has happened. For starters, my father was rushed to the hospital after going for a check-up with his doctor. He was operated the 23rd and was given to O.K. to go home New Year's Eve. Other than my father's operation, there was a death. My cousin Lexie's friend, David, committed suicide right after returning from Dominican Republic. I feel terrible for his father.
This brings me to an important topic: How people change when things go "wrong." I put quotations on the word wrong because everything that happens has a reason. For example, my father's operation needed to happen so he realizes that his health is no joke. As for David's death, I did not know much about the kid but I did know that when I first met him he seemed out of it. We never know a person's story until they open up or it's too late. He'd been hospitalized for depression. His father and my cousin were the only two who were with him day in and day out. After his death, friends and family members mourned. The question is, where were they when he needed them the most? Many say this could have been prevented, and I agree. Some say he would have done it regardless, I doubt it. We all put people aside when they need us the most. I too am guilty of this, I cannot lie. We get tired of drilling things into other's heads and getting nowhere. Shoot, I know people who are constantly telling me things for my own good, and I never listen.
Besides the madness stated above, great things have occurred since my last update. I quit Applebee's because they were being unfair to customers and employees alike and have gone back to working at my brother's design firm (gain experience in my field ^_^ --it's a win-win). My nephew started eating cereal and baby food and is still a "Chubbawubba" as his mother likes to call him. What else, hmmm... Oh yes, let's discuss the love life. Well, since my last update who was it, Cuban? He and I are still friends, we've talked about hanging out sometime this week. I met a Brazilian, he's a sweetheart, but we're only friends as well. T is officially out of my life (I can hear friends clapping away..lmao), I contacted J for New Year's and that was pointless. All I said was "Happy New Year" and he flipped. The immaturity is just part of his personality. JD is back with his ex and I am so proud of him! ^_^ B has gone missing since he went to Florida, MB and I are still friends, talk here and there. JV is still the guy I compare every other man to...and I wouldn't have it any other way. Let's see who else, oh there's an old friend ,DJ, who I've been seeing here and there, nothing serious.
People often ask, "So who's/who are the man/men in your life?" I just respond with, there aren't any. Truth is, there may be people I am getting to know, but I just see them as friends. I've been in a serious relationship and as for now all I want to do is just enjoy myself. Not as in whore around, but just network, get to know different people. Converse with strangers about life and not have someone beside me saying: "Babe, why are you doing this...or that?!" Or have someone care about me so much he feels the need to see me every 5seconds. I don't like to feel tied down. I can be dedicated, but I'm young. I've had the guy who I swore I was going to marry and now, all I want is the guy who is a friend and if that leads to something then so be, until then, I just need to focus on my path. Mr. Right Now is great, for 2-seconds and nothing more. Mr. Right will meet me down the path of success. <3

How's that for a an update!
-T. Love